xanthan gum

I think the ending could be better, but I did thoroughally enjoy it. you whispered, as our sailboat came to earth , sails flapping wildly as the hull scraped the ...

in uneven ways"--lightning struck ahead-- "lightening struck ahead" is too many syllables to have any effect. You hide a lot in you images, and I hope you realize this and ...

Is it true what they say about love? This is vague. A lot of things are said about love. Refuses to breathe An awkward short line that I think you ...

getting up Just for the sake of mixing up words, I'd put "out" instead of "up". I liked the rhyme, loved the poem, and only suggest that you go through ...

for we are only ever as dark as the last day we remember this is just a pretty dream that always ends too soon. There's a lot of extra words ...

Break my psychadelic waves of nausea, bringing me back to the surface, spluttering and coughing up so many multi-coloured dreams. This comes off as something one would write on a ...

Hm. Haven't seen you in a while - I didn't know you wrote poetry. And exceedingly well. :D A bit exhausting on the "I want"s - could you have not ...

You don't have to color the text, it's all right. Or put astriek's in between your stanzas, but all that's just preference. All of my Thoughts, and my Hopes, My ...

snort a fat rhyme I dont know if this was the best thing to put in the first line. It was a bit of a turn off, "fat" being such ...

(I only touch the shore because all seas must have an end somewhere[s] so this is mine[/s]) I enjoyed this. You're a good poet, bubblewrapped, and I wish we had ...

caught in the undertow of a thought carried away on the broken back of an undisciplined rhythm passing through subatomic slipstreams and defective dream catchers laughing waves of an alien ...

Snoink's right. Weak ending, undeserving of such a good poem. Let me try to understand There’s this feeling in my hand It is a blade sinking deeper in my skin? ...

...This isn't narrative.... Anyway.. The rhyme is a bit forced, the third stanza's lines are too long so they're off rhythm. Then you discard both rhyme and rhythm for the ...

Cannot...highlight...cannot...edit. *sobs* The second line is useless. Um. I would love you if this was typed. I really think it needs some revision I could help with, but oetherwise it ...

I am going to say how many syllables each line needs. Invisible, I disappear into my mental gloom. 0 Unseen, I creep into the sweet haven of my room. 0 ...